Is that even a real thing?

Throughout my life, I would hear the phrase “You just know”, in movies, books and TV when people would talk about relationships, engagements, and getting married.

I wondered what that would feel like?

Is this a real thing?

Is this something people just say?

I was in my 1st relationship for 15 years, had my first child with this person and made plans to get married, have a house, have children, be together and stay together. There were never any real plans, it was always just an unspoken agreement this was going to happen. Yet for some reason when people would ask if we were getting married the answer never came easy.

Skipping ahead in my life I did not marry that person. I can say I loved that person and cared deeply for the person, but no one was ever happy for us, and I didn’t understand why. I never felt at peace I constantly questioned if this was the person for me. Eventually I left the relationship because “it just didn’t feel right”.

The next relationship was different from the start. I was not interested in this person whatsoever. There was no attraction or much thought. This person told me they take care of me and give me everything in a good relationship. At the time just having the bills paid, food in the fridge, a job and car with gas to get there was all I wanted. I started to develop feelings for this person after all of the psychological nuggets they dropped in my head. I gave this person a chance, began dating and later moved in with this person and my child. I gave this person two years of my life and all the while there was NO TRUST. We discussed marriage. In hindsight it seemed like a business transaction. It didn’t feel like I thought it would when someone discusses marriage. But I felt weight on my shoulders and deep down I did not trust that person. I felt so insecure and worried for 2 years. His friends acted weird around me and so did his family. I knew this person was not the one for me and left that relationship.

After that I met my husband who I am STILL married to now. We have been together for seven years. When we realized we wanted to be together I can honestly tell you that I “just knew”.

The Phrase “you just know” is a real thing!

Suddenly everything made so much more sense. Suddenly I didn’t need to have guy friends suddenly I actually trusted what the person was saying. Suddenly I felt completely comfortable in who I was. Suddenly I was very at peace. Everything just seemed to fall into place. I just knew this was the person for me. This is what I wanted “it” to feel like. This is what I thought it should feel like. This is what I waited for and why I never got married. I trusted my guts I listened to my heart and the people around me. “You just know” is real!!!!However just because I believe it doesn’t mean everyone is lucky enough to find and experience that type of love. If you do, you are very blessed and lucky.

As an Ordained Minister and a person who believes in love, I recommend you ask yourself:

Does your partner make you feel like you want to be better?

Are you “at ease”?

Do you have complete trust in each other?

Do you feel like you need to leave your partner but don’t understand why, you “just feel it”?

Are people happy for you in your relationship?

These questions should be easy to answer. If “it” doesn’t feel right in your soul and in your heart, then you need to make a decision. Stop wasting time and get out while you can. There are lots of people in the world but YOU only live once. Don’t give your best years to someone who doesn’t deserve them.

So don’t get married until you KNOW. Your true happiness will shine right through and finally everyone who tried to warn you, the sincere friends and family members will finally be happy for you and be able to celebrate your relationship. It will feel like you always thought it would and you WILL, just know. Not everyone is out to get you, not everyone wants to see you down, and not everyone is jealous. Sometimes people really are trying to tell you things.

Jena Lizarraga

Ordained Minister

Bliss of the Bluegrass Weddings

Jena is an Amazon Affiliate, Notary Public, Wedding Officiant and Photographer living near Lexington, Ky. She is an avid fan of Bravo’s The Real Housewives, 90 Day Fiancé and Documentaries. When she is not working, you can find her shopping & trying new restaurants with her family.